Attention defi...Huh? Our citizen are armed, and they love to shoot! Helping white guys dance since 1842!
It's your friend! Give your brain the night off! Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Proud sponsors of casual sex since 1858! It makes you see double... and feel single! They turn bow into wow!
Helping white guys dance since 1842! Helping white guys dance since 1842! Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
With friends like these, who needs enemas? Yes, size matters! Is the planet shaking or is it just me?
You can sleep when you're dead! Descitions, Descitions, We drink more before 9am than most people drink all day!
The best 7 years of my life! Proudly refusing to ask directions since 1845! You think I'm sleeping with you for free?
Hey, who needs furniture anyway? The next best thing to a record deal! Holiday spirit straight from the chicken's ass!
The poor man's plastic surgery! You're less likely to be dissapointed! Just supersize it!
The way to a mans heart is through his fly! A poor substitute for foreplay! Helping dads away from household chores since 1950!
You bet your ass I do! It takes a big stick and a lot of balls! Violating the rules of fashion for 300 years!
You really do suck! Nothing a few cocktails can't fix! Check out the pixels on her!
Because great sex doesn't last forever! Helping Still a poor substitute for video games!
So much time, so few men! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll go to sleep! Hey, at least it's not crack!
Proud supporters of the snack food industry! Proud sponsors of...uhm...we forget! Can't we all just get a bong!
Why settle for second hand smoke? It's a special kind of stupid! Why should glaucoma patients have all the fun?
Proud sponsors of...uhm...we forget! The end of a perfectly good sexlife! Helping people lowering their standards since 1927!
Proof that god has a sense of humor! Because women appreciate the simple things in life! Some assembly required!
Not all superheroes wear capes! They're like dads only smarter! They yell because they care!
Providing a laundry service since 1875! Even when they're wrong...they're right! Keeping the phone lines busy since 1876!
Somebody bring me my bottle! Good clean holesome fun! Ho' sale since 1869!
Be afraid! Be very afraid! It's cheaper than dating! It's cheaper than dating!
Sometimes you'll feel like a nut...somtimes you don't! Is overrated! It's like sex...without the handcuffs!
Foreplay...without the hard work! KnowwhatI'msayin? Just another guy trying to get into your stockings!
The most fun you can have without a dessert fork! Nice guys finish last! The only time men aren't holding the remote!
I'm just 2 people short of a mènage á trois! Don't start without me! It's even better with a partner!
I'm just 2 people short of a threesome! The only thing a woman needs more of than sex! Have a nice coma!
Only one more shopping day 'til tomorrow! Have a nice trip! Proud sponsors of veritcal hills and horizontal women!
You just don't match my outfit! Helping women lowering their standards for years! Have you hugged your toilet today?
What goes down, must come up! Annoying women since 1970! Why waste good technology on science and medicine!
Spin yourself wet! Half the population! All the brains! Thank God it's Monday
There's nothing like a well-trimmed bush!